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Parenting through cancer
Parents go through a rollercoaster of emotions when their child is diagnosed with cancer. Below are some ideas on how you can support yourself and your family.
From diagnosis to treatment, through to end of treatment, the parenting journey changes. Parents of a diagnosed child may experience a strong range of emotions such as anxiety, stress, overwhelm along with uncertainty about their child’s future.
How family life can change after a cancer diagnosis
The childhood cancer experience is different for every family. The family dynamics can change after diagnosis, with each parent taking on a different role from what they are normally used to, and this can be an emotionally challenging time for every member of a family.
One parent may have to quit their job to be full time carer and the other parent may have to take on the majority of the household responsibilities and looking after their other children.
Younger children diagnosed with cancer sometimes talk about feeling left out of discussions or decisions, while older children might have issues with losing their independence or finding their parents becoming overly protective. Sometimes siblings feel forgotten and feel like different expectations have been set for them, such as behaving perfectly or helping more than they usually would with household chores. Siblings can feel angry or annoyed when they see special treatment being given to their diagnosed brother or sister.
How you can support your children
You have an important role in your children’s lives and you can support your them by:
Being a good listener is quite a skill and it can really help you understand what your child is thinking or feeling. Here are some things you can do to improve:
Routine and consistency for the family
Cancer treatment takes time and each day may present different challenges. It can be easy to let your child push boundaries during this time and this is completely normal because sometimes you need to do whatever it takes to get through the day.
There can be a lot of change, so consistency and routine are important.
Check in with each other consistently. Depending on your child’s treatment and how they are feeling physically, encourage them to stay involved in as many of their regular activities as they are able to, including household chores.
Looking after yourself
When your child has cancer, and life has suddenly come to a halt, it’s important to look after yourself, stay healthy, both physically, emotionally and mentally. It might seem difficult to find time for your own needs, but it will help you and the people around you.
Parents can become overprotective with their child when they are diagnosed with cancer. For younger children, this can be uncomfortable and they feel they are being ‘babied’. A teenager or young adult who is already used to having independence, may feel overwhelmed with the increase of attention on them. The challenge is to find a balance between being protective and being over-protective.
Each parent’s experience is unique, and we hope this article gives you some ideas and helps explain some of the feelings and emotions parents facing childhood cancer may go through.
Please remember that Redkite is here to support you as you help care for a family facing childhood cancer. You can contact us here.
Cancer makes everyone feel disempowered, but good communication can help.
Request information And support
We’re ready to help. Please call us on 1800 REDKITE (Mon – Fri 9am – 7pm AEST), or fill out the form below.
Related resources
This booklet answers some of the many questions which grandparents of children with cancer told Redkite they would have liked answered when their grandchild was diagnosed and during their grandchild’s treatment phase.
This booklet answers some of the many questions which grandparents of children with cancer told Redkite they would have liked answered when their grandchild was diagnosed and during their grandchild’s treatment phase.
Music can promote connection and strengthen relationships within your family. Katie explored the Redkite Music Box and thought it would be helpful for families facing the cancer experience.
Music can promote connection and strengthen relationships within your family. Katie explored the Redkite Music Box and thought it would be helpful for families facing the cancer experience.
These school holidays the kids can have fun and relax after a big term of school and parents can relax the routine and have more time to connect with their family.
These school holidays the kids can have fun and relax after a big term of school and parents can relax the routine and have more time to connect with their family.
After Emily was diagnosed with cancer, Redkite’s children’s counselling program played a vital role in supporting the emotional wellbeing of Emily and her sister Lucy.
After Emily was diagnosed with cancer, Redkite’s children’s counselling program played a vital role in supporting the emotional wellbeing of Emily and her sister Lucy.