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Self-care during childhood cancer: what other parents say
Parents have shared their top tips for looking after yourself when your child has been diagnosed with cancer.
Caring for a child with cancer can feel overwhelming. Between medical appointments, hospital stays, and the weight of worry, it’s easy to put your own needs last. By caring for your well-being, you’re giving yourself the strength to keep going and the energy to support your child and family when they need you most.
“Self-care IS important. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Hold on tight to your loved ones and remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Love + Strength ” — Eliza, mum to Harper, who was diagnosed at 4 years old
Self-care can look different for everyone. It’s about finding what recharges you and gives you energy. Here are some ways parents have shared how they practice self-care:
Small things can make big differences
“Take time out for yourself, even just 10 minutes for a coffee or a short walk.”
Sometimes, the little things can make a difference. A quiet coffee, stepping outside for fresh air, or a short walk can create a calming moment in your day. These small moments can help you feel more grounded.
Pause for a moment
“Pause. Just pause and breathe.”
When everything feels like too much, it’s okay to stop and take a moment for yourself. Pause, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Even a few deep breaths can bring a sense of calm. If it feels helpful, try a simple mindfulness exercise. Breathe in slowly, hold for a moment, and then gently let it go.
Asking for help
“Do not be afraid to ask friends or family for help.”
“The support is there, people really do care about you.”
Reaching out for help can feel difficult, but when you’re ready, it’s okay to lean on the people around you. Whether you need practical help or simply someone to listen, there are people who want to support you.
Feelings are okay
“It’s okay to embrace all the emotions that come your way. Never let anyone judge how you’re coping, because what they imagine you’re going through is likely only half the pain you’re feeling.”
“Don’t ignore how you’re feeling. Showers are great places to release pent-up emotions.”
All your feelings are valid. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, and no one else can fully understand your experience. Let yourself feel what you need to feel without judgment. Some people find it helpful to write it down—recording how you feel can help make sense of things and clear your mind.
“To be able to look after your child to the best of your ability, you will need to look after yourself.”
Take care of your body, too
“Eat healthy along the way.”
When you’re focused on caring for your child, it’s easy to forget your own needs. Nourishing your body with simple, wholesome meals whenever you can helps keep your energy up. Even small things, like keeping a healthy snack nearby, can make a difference.
“Sleep whenever you can and don’t feel guilty.”
Whenever possible, allow yourself a moment to rest—whether it’s a quick nap or just sitting quietly for a few minutes. Try not to feel guilty about taking this time for yourself; it’s important to recharge.
Give yourself a break
“Remember that you are not superhuman, and you can’t do everything, and you don’t have to do it all right now.”
“Hour by hour, day by day, one foot in front of the other. The days are long, but the years are short.”
You don’t have to tackle everything at once. It’s okay to take things one step, one moment at a time. Focus on what you can do today and give yourself the space to rest whenever you need it.
Laugh
“Laugh whenever possible, and as much as possible. At first this might be difficult, but finding the funny side in things is surprisingly important in tough situations, and black humour is completely acceptable.”
Laughter can make things a bit lighter. Embrace those moments, as they can bring comfort and connection.
Take time as a couple
“Ensure both parents take a break together and have a dinner or go see a movie or something else.”
It might not always be possible to take a break together, but when you find those small moments to connect—whether it’s sharing a quiet conversation or simply being present with each other—it can help you feel more grounded and supported.
“Find someone, as well as or other than family, that you can talk to.”
Redkite is here to walk alongside you, offering support every step of the way.
From a father…
“Don’t be afraid to show emotion; you don’t have to be the tough one. It will come out all at once if you bottle it up, and that’s not good for you, your child, or your family.”
This is true for anyone, it’s completely okay to feel and express your emotions. Sharing what you’re going through can bring relief and help you connect more deeply with your family. Whether it’s talking to a friend, a professional, or a support group. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
“Find someone, as well as or other than family, that you can talk to.” Redkite is here to walk alongside you, offering support every step of the way.
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