Talking cancer
When it comes to your child’s cancer, no topic is taboo
When a child has cancer, you are told things you wish you didn’t have to hear, but there are also many things left unsaid. Having real conversations is what we do best, and we invite you to join us.
This time is often filled with some of the hardest conversations of your life, a whirlwind of information, and new people.
We don’t know what causes childhood cancers. Nothing you or anyone else did caused your child’s cancer and nothing could have prevented it. It’s not fair, but it’s not your fault.
Guilt is a really common feeling for parents. Telling someone to not feel guilty won’t make that feeling magically disappear, but talking about it can help.
While it can feel isolating, you’re not alone with cancer. We will listen, respect and respond to you and your family, wherever you are.
You will meet many other families on the ward. Because the treatment for most childhood cancers is long and intense, many of these families get to know and support each other. Some form friendships that last long after their child’s treatment is over.
Know that there is nothing you did or didn’t do that caused it. You face a hard road but you don’t have to feel alone. There are wonderful groups of parents all over the country – like the ones Redkite runs that have parents that get it and that are there to hold you up. Be kind on yourself. If your house isn’t clean or your lawn isn’t mowed it’s okay. And never EVER measure your okay against someone worse than you. Your kid has cancer! If there is any time in your life to humbly accept the generous and gracious help others offer it is now. Not just for you, but it will ease your burden to allow you to support your kids. Swallow your pride, say yes ❤️
Resources for you
myRedkite Portal: Your personal access to Redkite services
The myRedkite Portal is where young people with cancer, their families, and those connected to them can access Redkite’s support services.
myRedkite Portal: Your personal access to Redkite services
The myRedkite Portal is where young people with cancer, their families, and those connected to them can access Redkite’s support services.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Who can dads speak to?
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, a dad may need emotional and mental support. We look at how Redkite Counselling and Connect Groups for Dads can help.
Who can dads speak to?
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, a dad may need emotional and mental support. We look at how Redkite Counselling and Connect Groups for Dads can help.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
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Every child’s treatment looks different. The most common treatments are chemotherapy, surgery and radiation. Many children have a combination of all three, but others may only have one. There are other treatments as well like bone marrow transplants, stem cell therapy and immunotherapy. These aren’t as common and are often used for certain cancers.
There are different phases of treatment. Your child may stay in hospital for some weeks, and then you may be on maintenance treatment for several years. Both of these have their own challenges. The hospital where your child receives treatment might be hundreds of kilometres away from family and friends. At home, not only are you juggling having a child on treatment, doctors appointments and unexpected trips to the emergency department, but also everyday life; school, work, other children.
There’s lots of ups and downs, and it can be exhausting. It’s normal and okay to feel overwhelmed.
I wish I had known that the end of the intensive treatment phase (leukaemia) isn’t necessarily the end of the “hard part”, that the full treatment program (2 years) is a marathon and not a sprint and you need to conserve mental energy for after intensive is over. I’m sorry if I’m rambling but the point is that I was so looking forward to finishing intensive and ‘going home’ but that had its own challenges too.
Despite the best efforts of any medical team, cancer cells sometimes survive treatment and reappear. This is called a relapse or recurrence.
It’s what parents fear every time they take their child for a blood test or a scan. Hearing this news is devastating. Relapse doesn’t mean your child had the wrong treatment, that they did something wrong. It’s nobody’s fault.
Having gone through treatment before, you know what to expect. This can be both positive and negative. You know the language, the people, and what strategies work for you, but you also know what’s ahead of you. It might feel like you put everything into treatment the first time, and now you’re exhausted.
Resources for you
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Journey Through Grief: Life Before Diagnosis
Grief can be an overpowering and overwhelming emotion. Managing everyday life during and even after treatment may feel challenging at times.
Journey Through Grief: Life Before Diagnosis
Grief can be an overpowering and overwhelming emotion. Managing everyday life during and even after treatment may feel challenging at times.
Musical activities for children and teens with cancer
Music can be a real source of support during the cancer experience. Our Redkite Music Box activities for young children and teens going through cancer can help them through challenging times.
Musical activities for children and teens with cancer
Music can be a real source of support during the cancer experience. Our Redkite Music Box activities for young children and teens going through cancer can help them through challenging times.
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The end of treatment is the milestone most families have been looking forward to since the diagnosis. Many families choose to celebrate this moment, but for many, there’s also lots of mixed feelings. Whatever you’re feeling: relief, guilt, anger, grief- these are normal.
Even after treatment ends, normal can still seem very far away. Wanting to have everything back the way it was before cancer is completely understandable. Everyone is changed by their experience. Many people also talk about struggling with the expectations of others who want them to be their old selves.
Treatment ending can bring a whole new range of worries and emotions. Instead of worrying about treatment, now people are worrying about the cancer returning. One day your child was taking chemo which kept them healthy and saved their life, the next they’re not.
It doesn’t mean going back to ‘normal’
Off treatment doesn’t mean it’s the end of tests, scans and check ups.
It means it’s the end of chemo/radiation/immunotherapy etc it doesn’t mean back to normal or healthy immune system, it means a new way of life and a few bumps along the way.
Resources for you
myRedkite Portal: Your personal access to Redkite services
The myRedkite Portal is where young people with cancer, their families, and those connected to them can access Redkite’s support services.
myRedkite Portal: Your personal access to Redkite services
The myRedkite Portal is where young people with cancer, their families, and those connected to them can access Redkite’s support services.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Who can dads speak to?
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, a dad may need emotional and mental support. We look at how Redkite Counselling and Connect Groups for Dads can help.
Who can dads speak to?
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, a dad may need emotional and mental support. We look at how Redkite Counselling and Connect Groups for Dads can help.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
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Survivor means different things to different people.
At some point after treatment, people who have had cancer might start being called “survivors”. People use this word in different ways. The term “cancer survivor” is helpful for some people, and it can allow people to tap into support specifically related to “survivorship”. It can also give people who’ve faced cancer a strong sense of identity. For others, it doesn’t quite fit or do justice to how complex cancer is.
When someone might start describing themselves as a survivor also varies quite a lot. Some people may use the word from the time they’re diagnosed, when they finished treatment, or when they’re told they are cancer-free.
Many children who’ve had cancer have ‘late effects’ as a result of their treatment. Again, if your child has them and what they are depends on a lot of different facts. Late effects can range from cognitive changes or mental illness, to heart or kidney problems.
As a parent yourself, you might have ongoing impacts from treatment too, whether that’s financial, emotional, or social.
Resources for you
myRedkite Portal: Your personal access to Redkite services
The myRedkite Portal is where young people with cancer, their families, and those connected to them can access Redkite’s support services.
myRedkite Portal: Your personal access to Redkite services
The myRedkite Portal is where young people with cancer, their families, and those connected to them can access Redkite’s support services.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Caring for a Child with Cancer: What It’s Really Like
Everything changes when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, a family must focus all their attention on caring for their sick child.
Who can dads speak to?
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, a dad may need emotional and mental support. We look at how Redkite Counselling and Connect Groups for Dads can help.
Who can dads speak to?
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, a dad may need emotional and mental support. We look at how Redkite Counselling and Connect Groups for Dads can help.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
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Sometimes, cancer doesn’t respond to treatment. There’s no right or wrong way to feel or cope with this news. It can be hard to describe the waves of emotion involved. Some people who have been through this experience say it is possible to feel fear, devastation, anger and denial simultaneously. Others say they were completely numb.
There are many questions and also many decisions which are not easy to make. Telling your child, their siblings, and other people in your life is just the first of many incredibly hard conversations you will have to have.
You may feel alone in this. Your experience is your own, but there are people here to help and support you, including Redkite.
Resources for you
Musical activities for children and teens with cancer
Music can be a real source of support during the cancer experience. Our Redkite Music Box activities for young children and teens going through cancer can help them through challenging times.
Musical activities for children and teens with cancer
Music can be a real source of support during the cancer experience. Our Redkite Music Box activities for young children and teens going through cancer can help them through challenging times.
Finance tips from parents of kids with cancer
Financial tips from parents and families for getting through their child’s cancer diagnosis and treatment.
Finance tips from parents of kids with cancer
Financial tips from parents and families for getting through their child’s cancer diagnosis and treatment.
In hospital and at home: Tips for families this holiday season
No matter what the holiday season looks like for your family, here are some ideas that may help you through this time of year.
In hospital and at home: Tips for families this holiday season
No matter what the holiday season looks like for your family, here are some ideas that may help you through this time of year.
myRedkite User Guide for families
Resources myRedkite User Guide for families The myRedkite portal allows families to access the services they need, whenever they need…
myRedkite User Guide for families
Resources myRedkite User Guide for families The myRedkite portal allows families to access the services they need, whenever they need…
Dare to Dream Scholarship: what other parents say
Financial tips from parents and families for getting through their child’s cancer diagnosis and treatment.
Dare to Dream Scholarship: what other parents say
Financial tips from parents and families for getting through their child’s cancer diagnosis and treatment.
Support for the holiday season
No matter what the holiday season looks like for your family, here are some ideas that may help you through this time of year.
Support for the holiday season
No matter what the holiday season looks like for your family, here are some ideas that may help you through this time of year.
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Grief doesn’t have a formula or timeline. There’s no stages to go through. Grief comes and goes, rising and falling, and is never easy to predict.
Even though they are gone, they are still with you and you can still think about them, and you don’t have to be sad. You can be happy and think about them at the same time
Other people in your life can have expectations of how you’re supposed to behave or how long you should grieve for. But there isn’t a right or wrong way to act when your child has died. Time between moments of overwhelming grief grows further apart over time, but that doesn’t mean grief goes away. The fact is your child will always be part of you, and you’ll always have a relationship with them.
We provide bereavement counselling, and have articles and resources you can read. One of these resources is By My Side, a video and book of a collection of quotes from parents whose child has died because of cancer. You can ask our team for a copy of By My Side and we’ll post it out to you.
Resources for you
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Coffee Catch Ups: We’re here to listen
Redkite’s Coffee Catch Ups are an opportunity to connect regularly with a supportive network of people who understand childhood cancer.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Supporting Siblings: Helping brothers and sisters cope with childhood cancer
For children, it can be scary and upsetting watching the effects of cancer treatment for their sibling and seeing them in pain and in and out of hospital.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Managing special days and events
Significant days and anniversaries can bring expectations. Feelings and emotion can be intensified, when your child is going through cancer.
Journey Through Grief: Life Before Diagnosis
Grief can be an overpowering and overwhelming emotion. Managing everyday life during and even after treatment may feel challenging at times.
Journey Through Grief: Life Before Diagnosis
Grief can be an overpowering and overwhelming emotion. Managing everyday life during and even after treatment may feel challenging at times.
myRedkite User Guide for families
Resources myRedkite User Guide for families The myRedkite portal allows families to access the services they need, whenever they need…
myRedkite User Guide for families
Resources myRedkite User Guide for families The myRedkite portal allows families to access the services they need, whenever they need…
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