The holiday period is often a difficult time for families, no matter what their family traditions are. Below are some suggestions on ways to navigate this time and look after your own wellbeing if things feel overwhelming. We acknowledge that not everything in this article will be right for everyone, but it is our sincere hope that you find comfort and value in some of these ideas.

Honour your emotions and be gentle with yourself 

The holidays can bring certain expectations from our children and family members. Family dynamics can be overwhelming to navigate, and it can be difficult to figure out how you will be able to manage the extra responsibilities on top of everything else there is to do. If your emotions are heightened during this time, please remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel. You don’t always have to be the strong one. It’s normal to feel angry, sad, frustrated and scared to move forward, you’re allowed to let your tears flow.

Reaching out to someone who you trust that can provide comfort and a listening ear may be the support that gets you through the day. Having self-compassion can go a long way. Think to yourself, ‘how could things change if I responded to myself the same way I would typically respond to a close friend who is feeling hurt or suffering?’ 

Have realistic expectations about what’s possible and what you can do. Finding ways to keep healthy emotionally and physically can make the difference between having a calm holiday season and not becoming stressed and overwhelmed. Doing small things can make a difference. For example, if you usually host, ask someone else to. Keeping holiday plans simple can make things easier for yourself.  

Talk about changes 

Children may cope better with any changes to the Christmas routine when they know what to expect and what might be different. If changes are inevitable, talking openly to your loved ones and discussing what may happen these holidays can take the pressure off you and allow your partner, kids, and extended family prepare for what’s to come.  

Share the tasks and remember support is there 

It’s not always easy to ask for help, however, it’s often not possible to do everything yourself. If you feel like you’re struggling or exhausted, you may want to consider reaching out to trusted family and friends and explain what is going on. Also, there may be people in your community that can offer support you may not have realised you needed. Redkite is here to support you too.  

Have realistic expectations about what’s possible and what you can do. Simplifying your plans and keeping them modest can contribute to a smoother experience.  

Create new traditions 

It can be difficult to try and celebrate when someone you love can’t be with you like they usually are. If your usual holiday traditions don’t feel right and are creating a lot of different – and sometimes unexplained – emotions, you could think about creating new traditions or changing them, or even putting them on hold until it feels okay to continue them. Talking about new and old traditions with your family could provide the support you need through a shared understanding of grief. 

It’s your Christmas, enjoy the moment 

Acknowledging the positives and focusing on gratitude can sometimes help adjust your frame of thinking towards a more positive perspective. Forming this sense of appreciation can allow you to build resilience as you face challenges. Even the smallest things we don’t plan for may provide a glimpse of joy when we are least expecting it.  

Whether it’s spending time with your family or friends or just having some quiet time, it’s important to do what makes you feel relaxed and not emotionally and physically fatigued. Whatever Christmas means to you, do what you need to do to make it yours. Enjoy the special moments as much as you can, no matter how small.  

Gifts come in many forms 

Giving gifts 

The holiday season may make exchanging gifts seem overwhelming considering the time and energy you may be spending with your sick child in and out of hospital. These can be tough times for families and organising gifts may understandably be the last thing on your mind or not possible financially. It is important to recognise that gifts come in various shapes and sizes and do not necessarily need to be wrapped with a shiny bright ribbon.

Try to talk to your family and make decisions together about what gift-giving may look like this year. If you or your family members have children that believe in Santa, you may want to discuss how you will explain the changes while still keeping the magic alive.   

Receiving gifts 

Family, friends and your surrounding community are valuable sources of support. The gift of time, a kind word and even the act of practical support can be incredibly meaningful during this often-stressful period. It is normal for friends and family to reach out and offer their own gifts of support and care. Accepting help can be hard, but it’s important to remember that you don’t need to do this alone.

The gift of quality time for help with chores could turn out to be the most cherished Christmas gift for your family during this challenging time.