Childhood cancer affects everybody in the family and for different reasons. Parents often face challenging questions from their diagnosed child and their siblings. 

 We sat down with former Redkite Social Work Manager and Practice Leader, Claire Masula, in the Kids Cancer Conversations with Georgie Gardner podcast, to talk about how siblings can help support their brother or sister going through cancer. 

Some of the ways a sibling might react to their brother or sister being diagnosed with cancer can be wanting things to be how they were before cancer, and they want their old life. They might feel a bit jealous about the amount of attention that their sibling might get, or they may show the love they have for their sibling and their desire for them to get better and to feel well and to be happy again

Some of the ways parents can support siblings are, acknowledging they want to help their brother or sister. Suggest how they can help, while not placing too much expectation and making sure they’re not missing out on the things that they want to do.

Sometimes siblings have to pick up extra responsibility when someone in the house has cancer but try not to let it have a massive impact on the child and their ability to engage with their friends and activities that they enjoy doing. It is about individual children and families and, and what’s right for them.

“For siblings, if they want to be involved, find something for them to do, praise them, notice their empathy and, and talk to them about it.”

What questions do you get from diagnosed children and their siblings?

Responding to children’s questions about a cancer diagnosis requires honesty, compassion, and being able to sit with uncertainty. By creating a safe space for open communication, parents can help their children move forward with confidence and understanding.

Parents can say things like, “It’s okay to feel sad about this. I feel sad sometimes too,” which lets the child know that no emotion is off-limits. Encouraging honest discussions about feelings, even if the answers aren’t always available, helps children build resilience and a sense of security.

Common Questions from Diagnosed Children and Their Siblings

Children are naturally curious, and when faced with a life-altering situation like a cancer diagnosis, they seek clarity and reassurance. Among the most common questions are:

• Will the cancer come back?
  Diagnosed children and their siblings can worry about the future and cancer returning. Parents can reassure their children by explaining the steps being taken to monitor their sibling’s health, such as regular check-ups and doctor visits, and letting them know everything possible is being done to keep them or their sibling healthy.
• Will things ever go back to normal?
  Siblings, in particular, may focus on the changes in family dynamics and routines. They might ask if they’ll ever get to do the activities they used to enjoy together. While these concerns might seem small to adults, they are important for children.
• Is my brother or sister going to be in pain?
  Fear of pain is a natural concern for children who are worried about their sibling’s well-being. Being honest about the fact that treatments can be tough but emphasising the support from doctors and nurses can help reassure them.

While Redkite and other support services can provide guidance on what evidence-based responses might look like, it is the parents’ deep understanding of their children’s emotional needs that makes the biggest difference.

Parents don’t always need to have major concerns to reach out for support, however, if they notice changes that feel significant or out of character, a simple check-in with a Redkite social worker can offer clarity and support, helping parents navigate a challenging time.  

Redkite can hold the whole family through cancer and beyond and help them so that it’s not just a matter of getting through and getting by that they can feel well and healthy in all aspects of their life when they try and pick up after cancer.