Hamish and Fergus have been best mates since pre-school, first meeting in the sandpit in 2012.  

Like many good friendships, they started out “absolutely hating each other’s guts”.  

“He was so energetic and crazy and out there. And then, neither of us know how it happened, but then a year later in year one, we’re just like best mates,” Hamish said.  

“I’m definitely the calmer one in the friendship. He’s super crazy, but I love it, it’s so good to be around him, because he just lifts you up so much.” 

Hamish and Fergus, both now 18, got to know each other through sport, playing hockey, basketball, water polo and AFL, often coached by Fergus’s dad and older brother. Their families are also great friends, living close by and hanging out after school and on weekends. 

Dealing with a cancer diagnosis

When Fergus was diagnosed at 16 with brain Medulloblastoma, a type of brain tumour, after becoming severely ill on the Kokoda Track in Papua New Guinea, their friendship only grew stronger.  

“I was at work sitting in the break room and a bunch of messages came through from him. He was like, ‘Oh, I’ve come into the hospital, had to cancel the walk. I’m very sick.’,” Hamish said.  

“I got home that night and mum told me that it was a tumour. I was really shocked at the start. You’re just not sure what’s going on, because it was so unexpected.” 

In those first few days after Hamish found out Fergus was sick, he tried to process what was happening to his best mate. 

“I remember feeling really angry at the unfairness of it all. Ferg is such an amazing person and for some reason I felt really mad that something like this happened to him.” 

“Once it sunk in what was happening, I just felt really empty and hollow for a long time, which was really hard to get out of. You sort of get into this perpetual cycle of wallowing and that was especially hard to break.” 

Hamish and his family visited Fergus in hospital shortly after he arrived back in Perth from Papua New Guinea, once he was officially diagnosed.  

“We spent most of the morning in there with him. We brought in blue clouds, his favourite lollies and some drinks, and card games. We just hung out with the family. It was good to see him.” 

Hamish was by Fergus’s side all through treatment and recovery from surgery. They would play video games once Fergus regained control of his hands and figured out this new stage of their friendship together. 

Due to the swelling in his brain post-surgery, Fergus lost mobility of the right side of body as well as the ability to walk, talk and swallow. That drastic physical impact was confronting for everyone, including Hamish.  

“He was in so much pain and unable to move or speak, and although Mum and Dad had prepared me for what it might be like, seeing him in this condition was still so jarring.” 

“I’m quite an emotional person, so the first few months were extremely difficult to get through. The immediate post-OP period was definitely the hardest, I felt really absent and worried all the time and was unable to focus at school for a long time.” 

Does anything change in the friendship?

The most challenging effect of Fergus’s cancer on their friendship was that Hamish, always the quiet one of the pair, now had to do all the talking.  

“He’s always been the more talkative one that carries the conversations, and I really struggled to try and sort of take over the talking. He’s always bringing the energy, so it was really hard to kind of switch up and become that in the friendship, because he couldn’t be.  

That was probably the most awkward part of the friendship.” 

While Hamish supported Fergus, he also made sure to care for himself, having open conversations with his parents about how he was managing his own emotions.  

“My parents were always there to talk about how I was feeling. In the early days we’d spend most nights just sitting on the couch talking about it all and how things were going to be moving forwards.” 

Having active hobbies like mountain biking and playing piano was important to Hamish, to help him manage his emotions and get out of his head for a while. 

“They encouraged me to take the time off when I needed it and to keep active. I was really into my mountain biking, so they were always happy to take me down to the jumps in Freo or out into the hills whenever they could.” 

As well as being active, Hamish has some advice for other young people who have a friend going through childhood cancer.  

“Keep an open communication channel, just talking to people about how you’re feeling, letting people know what’s going on. If you try and go it alone, it’s not going to go very well.” 

Keeping things as normal as possible is also important, even if nothing feels normal. 

“So just doing what you’ve always done with your best mate is the most important thing. There’s some familiarity to a horrible situation, a very foreign situation that a lot of people wouldn’t have been through before.” 

Fergus and Hamish have both now finished high school and have had a chance to travel together, both in Western Australia and overseas.  

Their friendship has never been stronger.